Quarterlife Crisis

What is a quaterlife crisis?

The quarterlife crisis is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis. -Wikipedia

Some lucky few never get to experience this "limbo" stage while others like myself try to cope and battle our way out of it while retaining some of our sanity. A quarterlife crisis is different from one individual to the next but there are definitely several characteristics that seem to trigger (i.e graduating, starting a career, moving, etc.) and be a common thread of this period of time.

My Personal Triggers/Fears
I began to experience the symptoms of a quarterlife crisis after graduating from graduate school, moving back to my hometown, and starting my career. Graduating from graduate school although exciting also led to feelings of dread. The thought that I was done with my schooling was difficult to conceive because for so long school had been a major part of my life. It was the part of my life that I knew that I could excel at and in some way control. Now, here I was graduating and having to move back to my hometown to find a job. It was difficult to come back home after graduating because I didn't want to get sucked into family drama but I also had someone here that I loved. That person was my fiance. He was the rock in my life. The person I knew I would spend the rest of my life with and have the "happily ever after" fairytale. I could endure anything as long as we were together; however, the fairytale soon turned into a nightmare. A culmination of various factors led to the end and suddenly everything that was planned would no longer be. Nothing made sense anymore and the more that time passed the deeper I sunk into depression. I realized that although I was hurt about the end of a relationship the most paralyzing fear was that I had lost so much time. I wanted my time back so that I could do things differently. I needed more time to accomplish things that I had pushed to the side. I needed to find meaning in what I was currently doing, especially at my job. Was this a career I wanted? Was it worth the time and money (i.e student loans) that I put into getting a degree? Do I want to spend my time on another long-term commitment such as a career/relationship only to have it end? How can I better balance all of my roles so that I can do the things that I didn't get to do as I tried to overachieve? The feeling that I had missed out on things led to feelings of jealousy toward friends. I was jealous that they had "experienced" things that I had not resulting in alienation and self-imposing loneliness. For the first time, in my life I was questioning everything not from the perspective of a child, adolescent, or adult but from the perspective of someone in "limbo." I don't know who I am. For so long, I have defined my life by the things that I do rather than defining the things I do. So now that I don't have a full grasp of what I have, my world is upside down. I'm overwhelmed and the natural instinct of fight of flight has been triggered.

I'm choosing to FIGHT! I don't want to run anymore from these issues. I spent over a year running in circles expecting to find the solutions to my problems in spending money, overeating and alienating myself from the world. I'm done running. It's time to get my life back in order and win this war.